How i really feel inside

Nobody ever really know how i really feel inside . No matter how close you are / were to me, you had never really seen the real me, not because i don't want to show it, but because every time i show it, you people all just turn and walk away. Maybe not all of you but i have just lose faith in myself and everybody else, even the people i love most.
Family, guess what nth is enough for my father. Not even getting an A1 for my history. Dad, you always claimed that you're disappointed with me, you never really know how much effort i put in you. Seen you hate me so much and ask me not to say your my father if anyone asked, then why bring me out to this world?
I'm felt alone here, with no one to hold, not even YOU, i thought you would hold me close i thought you wouldn't let me go. But you disappoint me:( Everyone close to me are just getting distant. i never knew this day would come, guess i'm just asking for the sky ?
Efforts i put in for both studies and friends, it both had gone into waste. I know that life wasn't meant to be easy but . The happiness never last. i wonder how i am suppose to live on without support , both from family and friends,
i so tired off everything, nobody understands. no matter who i talk too, it doesn't work. Now there is even nobody i trust. So many friends, not even a single one because i don't have any bestfriend the one that god forgot to give me as a sister so he gave me as a best friend. I wonder when is she coming? Coming to share my sorrows, i just hope you're the one.

-Theresa