It always been flashing in my mind

Everytime i think off this, I think off you, YOU. Asking myself why you treat yourself this way, ask myself why you resolved your problem by slitting. At the same time, i'm angry with you for slitting, very mad at your father tooo>:( your hand have been flashing through my mind all day i just want to love you the way you should be loved, but i just don't know how to express my feelings. Anyway, life hasn't been working out for me this days, as you can see through my post right? LOL Sadness in both friends AND academic:< yeah, and now i'm gonna pour everything out! Whether you like it a not because it's about you.
Can i ask you, what do you treat me as? Friends in the class not as close as you to me also treat me so much better then how you treat me, i don't know why i still love you as a friend so much even when you treat me this way, when you happy then can play with you, when you angry /sad or whatever shit, you put it on me, it's so hard being a perfect friend for you, you just won't understand, i know i also don't understand you, but it's not me, it's ... You you don't want to tell me how you really feel deep down how dumb off me to trust you? very... :< hope you would open up to me one day cause i'm still tryin very hard to pull us back together i have been taking the initative ever since the day we became friends, you don't feel bad ah? haiz.
And this is for my lonely friend.
It hurts me alot to ALWAYS see you alone, friends like her is not worth don't even know why last time you treat her so good, now you finally know who your true friends is / are right, please treasure them , don't lose them but, not that girl that purposely follow you ok? <3
So stress sia, tell you what i got a feeling i'll be getting kick out off council soon, i ask you, councillor means cannot talk in class? councillor means cannot laugh with friends in class? councillor means cannot make any noise? what is that man, my as well you get the quietest person to be councilor? what the hell enough is enough ok....
I feel damn fu*king emo this few days, i just hope things would change for the better bah . HAHA maybe because pms?:> heehee siao. ok nvm i gtg byebye:>

-theresa