those feelings that conquer me this whole week.

You don't know how much it means to me going to school with you everyday and going home with you almost all the time. Now it hurts. Really hurts alot. I can't help but cry. But crying is just something optional. I shouldn't cry. But I guess it's worth? And I really hate how cold you are treating me now. You don't know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry if I change I can't see myself change. You know, Everyday after school the first person I think of was you. Now, 1 hour before the school end, all I do is think of where to go after school. Do you think it's easy for me to be feeling like this? Do you think I don't feel like crying everytime I see you? It isn't easy. Ive been trying so hard to stay strong in front off all off you. And now the strong I look, the weaker I Get. I really can't take it . I'm cryingAnd if it means the last thing I say, I would still say, you mean alot to me. Like really alot alot. Everytime you turn and walk away, I feel that you are stabbing me with a knife. Every single time. And I all have to do is pretend pretend and keep pretending .Pretend that you not accompanying me is nothing to me, pretending that I'm happy.So now I guess, I don't mean that much to you huh. This whole week. Everyday, you'll say you miss me so much and every day you'll leave meEveryday, you'll promise to accompany me and the next day it's another story.I want to fucking screw life. I don't know why I'm getting so aggigtated . Maybe it's just because you mean alot more 2 me that what u thinkI don't want to result to penknives again because of how much things hurt. I know you're sad. I'm also very sad too.Everything just hurt too much.:( I'm sorry . I couldn't read you. I wanted to cry too. You're need to know you're not the only one:'(Take out that knife and stab it over again and again babe.I still remember when I sat at the station, and you came along asking me what's wrong. You were there for me. I have nothing more to ask for.. Nvm. Forget it I failed as a friend once again.